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If there's one thing everyone has asked themselves at least once in their life, it's: "Is my boyfriend or girlfriend really perfect for me?"
Sometimes, you're there, relaxing, watching a series together, sharing the blanket (or fighting over it), and suddenly that cosmic doubt hits you: "Is that really it? Are we soulmates or just two lost people who like the same pizza flavor?"
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Well, it was during one of these existential love crises that I stumbled upon Love Calculator, an application that promises to help you unravel the mysteries of the heart with one click.
And, look, doesn't it deliver? So, get ready, because I'm going to tell you everything about this romantic-technological adventure, with laughter, reflections and even some indirect messages for my man!
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It all started on one of those Sundays when you don't know whether to order delivery or cry out of boredom. I was scrolling through my phone's feed, escaping reality, when I saw an ad with a flashing heart and the phrase: "Find out if you're compatible now!"
I, who am curious at the level of “I’m going to click on this strange link just to see what happens”, couldn’t resist. It was the Love Calculator.
I downloaded it right away, opened the app, and right away it asked me to enter my name and my boyfriend's name. Easy peasy. I typed in "Ana Clara" and "João Pedro", pressed the calculate button and, I swear, I felt butterflies in my stomach, as if I were about to open my college entrance exam results or find out if I won the lottery.
When the result came up, I almost fell off the couch: 92%! Ninety-two percent compatibility! I looked at João Pedro, who was playing video games with the concentration of someone who was saving the world, and said: “Honey, science says we are practically perfect!”
He just raised an eyebrow, muttered “nice” and went back to the game. Men, right? But I was on cloud nine, feeling like the protagonist of a romantic comedy where the love algorithm confirmed that my man and I are like Romeo and Juliet – but, you know, without the tragic part.
Now let me tell you why Love Calculator It’s so addictive – and seriously, it has the potential to make you laugh so much that it deserves an Oscar for entertainment. First, it’s ridiculously easy to use. You don’t have to be Elon Musk to understand how it works. You download it, open it, enter the two names, click “calculate” and shovel: in two seconds, a percentage that supposedly measures how “made for each other” you are is in your face.
It's so simple that even my aunt, who thinks WhatsApp is a social network, could use it. And the best part? It's free! Yes, you don't have to spend a dime to find out if your crush is your soulmate or just a Netflix buddy who pays half the subscription.
But what does the Love Calculator what really shines is the somewhat mystical vibe it has. The app says it uses an “ancient algorithm” to calculate compatibility (their words, not mine).
I have no idea what that means – maybe it’s a digital wizard with a binary code wand doing math in the background of the server. But, you know, I like to think of it as a sort of technological fortune teller reading the Wi-Fi stars to decide if my heart is on the right track. And hey, even if it’s just a random calculation, the experience is so much fun that you don’t even care.
Another thing that won me over was that the Love Calculator doesn't just leave you with a cold number. After showing the percentage, it sometimes comes with a phrase that is half advice, half slap in the face. In my case, along with 92%, something like: “You have a special connection, but don't forget to listen to each other”. I read this to João Pedro, all excited, and he replied: “Okay, but did you hear that I asked you to get the popcorn?”
Okay, maybe we need a basic course in “active listening”, but the app is already trying to save our relationship, so it deserves a point for effort.
Now, not everything is hearts and unicorns in the world of love calculations. There was a time when I decided to test the Love Calculator with the name of an old crush – you know how it is, sometimes we want to take a peek into the “what if” of the past.
I typed in his name, clicked on calculate and… 47%. FORTY-SEVEN PERCENT. I stared at my phone like, “Seriously, universe? I spent months pining over this guy!” But then the app won me over again, because it doesn’t leave you in the lurch. The phrase that came up with it was something like: “Sometimes, true love needs a little more time.”
Dude, this app is practically a motivational guru! I got out of my funk in no time and went back to enjoying my 92% with João Pedro, who, let's face it, is much more interesting than my crush 47%.
And, look, the Love Calculator It's not just for serious couples. It's perfect for joking around with friends. Have you ever imagined inviting your friends over for a night of "compatibility testing"? I did it at my friend Luana's house, and, my God, it was one of the funniest moments of my life.
We started by testing the couples in the group – there was everything, from a 95% that made everyone shout “get married now!” to a 62% that generated a 20-minute debate about “what went wrong”. Then, we moved on to the absurd combinations: “Luana and Harry Styles” (88%, I was so jealous), “Me and Chris Hemsworth” (79%, that’s good enough) and even “João Pedro and the neighbor’s dog” (65%, because, well, Thor – the dog’s name, not the actor – is cute).
We laughed so much that my stomach hurt and Luana spilled soda on the carpet. So, if you want a fun and cheap program, just download the app and let the fun flow.
But, oh, don't think that the Love Calculator It's just a joke. There's a side to it that, whether you like it or not, makes you think. When you see that result on the screen, even if it's just a silly number, you end up asking yourself: "What makes a relationship work?" In my case, 92% reminded me that love isn't just about magical percentages, but about simple things: laughing together when the delivery food comes out wrong, sharing the last piece of chocolate (even if you really want to eat it all by yourself) and, sometimes, taking a deep breath when the other person forgets to reply to your message for three hours (I'm looking at you, João Pedro).
The app is like that friend who gives you a little push to reflect on your life as a couple, but without boring you with sermons.
And there's more: the Love Calculator It’s a great icebreaker for talking to your partner. Like, you show the result and then say: “So, honey, what do you think about us improving this 92% to 95%?” In my case, I used the app to start a light conversation (one of those that doesn’t end in a fight, I swear). I showed the phrase about “listening to each other” to João Pedro and asked him what he thought we could improve. He thought and thought and said: “Maybe we can stop fighting over who does the dishes”. I laughed, because, you know, the dishes are our biggest enemy, but we ended up agreeing to divide the tasks better. Just look: a silly app generating real changes in a couple’s life. Who would have thought?
Another advantage is that the Love Calculator It's super accessible. Like I said, it's free, so there's no excuse not to try it. Sure, it has a few ads here and there – no one lives on a whim, right? – but nothing that will make you want to throw your phone at the wall. And look, I'm a self-confessed tightwad, so if I'm saying it's worth it, you can trust me. The app is lightweight, doesn't take up space on your phone, and even runs on those devices that freeze when you try to open three apps at the same time (who hasn't done that?).
Now, an important tip: don't take the Love Calculator so seriously that you make drastic decisions. Like, if you get 60%, you won't break up with the person right away thinking the universe is sending you a sign. Relationships are more complicated than a calculation, and the app is there to entertain you, make you laugh and, who knows, inspire you to talk more with your partner. In my case, 92% only confirmed what I already knew: João Pedro may snore like a tractor and forget to put away his socks, but he's my kind of perfect chaos. And, let's face it, anyone who shares popcorn without complaining deserves a trophy.
So, if you are in doubt whether your boyfriend or girlfriend is “the one” or “the girl”, give him/her a chance. Love Calculator. Download it, enter the names, laugh at the results and, who knows, you might discover that your love is more epic than you imagined. And, if you get a low percentage, relax: sometimes, the universe is just messing with you. In the end, what matters is what you feel in your heart – and, of course, if the person lets you eat the last French fry. Now that's true love.